When Being in the 1% Feels like Failure

Wil’s Personal Note: “Founders, I want you to give yourself 100x more credit than you probably are for doing what you’ve already done. If we lose perspective of our progress, we’ve already lost. We need that perspective to fuel our next big win.”

When I was living in Beverly Hills, I felt like a total loser. This isn't some lame setup to a humble brag, I'm telling you I never saw this coming and it pissed me off.

As a kid growing up without much, I never thought in a million years I'd be living in Beverly Hills, so my expectations heading into life were very low. But every morning when I would wake up, I would look across this sun-drenched canyon and see the most amazing houses you would ever see — literally billionaire homes.

Do you know what my first thought was? "I'll never achieve what those people have. I wish I was more successful." How messed up is that? A lot, right? And yet this is exactly the sentiment I hear from Founders over and over again who have achieved an elite level of accomplishment, but genuinely feel like they came up short. I've never met more successful "losers" in my life, and sadly I'm probably one of them, and you probably are too.

You're in the 1% and Don't Know it

In order to truly understand how fortunate we are, even when we feel like crap, we need to calibrate to what it takes to even get in the Top 1% of startup outcomes. In order to get to the Top 1% of startup outcomes, you'd need to have raised nearly any amount of startup capital, hit at least $100k in revenue and hired a team and managed payroll.

That doesn't sound like a lot, does it? That's just the 1%. Now let's talk about 1% of 1%, or the 0.01% (this really needs a catchy name). In order to get there, you'd have to have raised from a name brand VC, hit at least $1M in revenue, scaled a team, and survived more than 5 years. 1 in 10,000 Founders will ever get there.

It really makes you wonder how all of the other 99% of Founders feel. I'm not saying they should feel bad (try again!) but I'm saying 99% of Founders are sitting around wishing they could have had your success.

The Top 1% of Success or Failure Feel the Same

Now here's the crazy part: you're in that Top 1% or better even if you fail. Those stats aren't just the companies that go on to become winners — they actually work exactly the same for those that fail, which most do.

When I talk to a Founder who has raised venture, gotten some traction and then later ran out of money and shut down, I always tell them the same thing. "Before you get too down on yourself, remember that you just achieved what 0.0001% of Founders will ever do. Which means you're exponentially more qualified to do it again."

Of course that isn't what those Founders are thinking. Even the successful ones are like "But I could have done better." (like I do). That's like skiing in the Olympics, taking the Silver Medal and thinking "But I didn't get Gold." OK, but there are 135 million active skiers in the world and you're literally in the top 0.00001% of all skiers, and what's more only ONE person in the freaking world might be better than you. Settle down.

Perspective is a Powerful Antidote

We often find ourselves wallowing the in what I call "Success Amnesia" when we conveniently forget all of the great things we've done and simply focus only on the things that we haven't. This is a disease that manifests in the most awful ways. It's not about "resting on our laurels," it's about taking positive energy and momentum and making it negative.

The most consistent antidote to this near-fatal disease is perspective. Perspective is our ability to zoom out and appreciate the finish lines we have passed, many of which seemed impossible just a minute ago, and for many (the other 99%) wholly unclaimed.

When we regain that perspective we refill our mental and emotional gas tank with the super fuel of confidence. Instead of tearing us down with what we don't have, it builds us up with what we do have. It readies us for our next big lift. That's exactly how perspective should be used.

Oh, and that bullshit "Beverly Hills problem" that I had. You know how I solved it? I moved to Ohio, built my dream home on a lot where I couldn't see a single house in any direction, and now instead of thinking about what others have, I only think about what I'm blessed to have.

All it took was a change of perspective.

In Case You Missed It

The Burden of Unrealistic Expectations (podcast). We have to break up with the expectations we never actually signed up for and learn to build a business that feels right to us, not just impressive to everyone else.

Optimizing for Happiness We do something in our planning at Startups.com that is relatively unheard of in the startup business: we optimize for happiness. Here’s how we do it.

How I Harness My Insane Startup Anxiety There are two types of Founders: those that admit they are wracked with anxiety, and those that are lying about it. We’re all going to deal with it for the rest of our lives — so why not use it as a superpower, instead of reacting like it’s kryptonite?